I’ve never tried crack before, but after having this pie, I don’t feel I ever need to.
Feelings of euphoria? Check.
Supreme confidence? I can eat a whole pie! Check.
Paranoia? Somebody’s been eating MY pie! Check.
Loss of appetite? After eating a whole pie? Check.
A craving for more? Check.
Oh boy, is there a craving for more. Seriously, this pie is insanely addictive. An oatmeal cookie crust and a sweet, gooey, butterscotch-y filling combine to create a delicious bubbling mess of salty-sweet goodness. When it cools, you’ll have to fight for your share. Or you can grab the pie plate, turn your back and crouch in the corner, stuffing your face like a feral cat. A feral cat that uses a fork, of course.
Don’t worry, that didn’t happen. I thought about it though. Damn those feelings of paranoia, they make you want the pie all for yourself!
The smell of the pie baking is pleasantly sweet, but it doesn’t drive you into a frenzy the way that first bite will. You’ll never forget that first bite: it’s euphoric. You’ll feel like your hands can’t put pie into your mouth fast enough. After the first few mindless, breathless moments of all-consuming-pie-eating, I regretted halving the recipe to make just one pie.
Don’t make my mistake: make two pies. You’ll eat both of them. Or, you’ll have a guaranteed way to make some new friends if you somehow manage to resist the second pie. It’s a very irresistible pie; I consumed half of one myself.
Hours later with Crack Pie just a fuzzy memory, I was feeling slow, lethargic, and depressed. It was a gorgeous day outside, but the sunshine did nothing to cheer me up. I didn’t get it, but then, in a flash of brilliance, I realized: I was coming down from my crack pie high. Be warned, Crack Pie causes withdrawal symptoms.
I’ve now made Crack Pie three times, in three different incarnations: Crack Tart, Crack Pie Pops, and good old fashioned Crack Pie. I didn’t get any photos of the good old fashioned pie, we devoured it before photos could be taken.
Mike: Did you know Crack Pie is $44 a bite?
Me: No it isn’t! Did you know some guy ordered one online and dropped on the ground in his lobby and then ate it?
Me: He dropped it so he called his roommate to bring two forks down and they ate it off the floor. $44 a bite?
Mike: $44 a PIE, not a bite.
For all of you who don’t live in NYC and don’t want to buy a $44 pie, here’s the Crack Pie recipe from the LA Times. The recipe makes two 10 inch pies.
Crack Pie Recipe
Oatmeal Cookie for Crust
2/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon flour
Scant 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
Scant 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup softened butter
1/3 cup light brown sugar
3 tablespoons sugar
Scant 1 cup rolled oats
1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
3. Cream the butter, brown sugar and sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Whisk the egg into the butter mixture until fully incorporated.
5. Stir in the flour mixture until fully combined. Stir in the oats.
6. Spread the mixture onto a 9-inch-by-13-inch baking sheet and bake until golden brown and set, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and cool to the touch on a rack. Crumble the cooled cookie to use in the crust.
Crumbled cookie for crust
1/4 cup butter
1 1/2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
Combine the crumbled cookie, butter, brown sugar and salt in a food processor and pulse until evenly combined and blended (a little of the mixture clumped between your fingers should hold together). Divide the crust between 2 (10-inch) pie tins. Press the crust into each shell to form a thin, even layer along the bottom and sides of the tins. Set the prepared crusts aside while you prepare the filling.
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup plus a scant 3 tablespoons light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup plus 1 teaspoon milk powder
1 cup butter, melted
3/4 cup plus a scant 2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 egg yolks
2 prepared crusts
Powdered sugar to garnish
1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Whisk together the sugar, brown sugar, salt and milk powder. Whisk in the melted butter, then whisk in the heavy cream and vanilla.
3. Gently whisk in the egg yolks, being careful not to add too much air.
4. Divide the filling evenly between the 2 prepared pie shells.
5. Bake the pies, one at a time, for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to 325 degrees and bake until the filling is slightly jiggly and golden brown, about 10 minutes. Remove the pies and cool on a rack.
6. Refrigerate the cooled pies until well chilled. Serve cold, and the filling will be gooey. Dust with powdered sugar before serving.
Note: I liked it best at room temperature.